12.04.2026, 7 pm!



i'm switching from lurk, i won't be posting on my blog here anymore, but in case you didn't see the link on the homepage i'll be posting here --> https://theblackcat.bearblog.dev/



03.04.2026, 1 pm!



happy today! i went out for a walk, also talked with my friends! i finally started posting stuff on my recov channel too, i love those vids i sent there!! they motivate me so much (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑) also my friend finished the first part of their game, im so proud of them!!



02.04.2026, ---



one time while i was on a site i saw a japanese girl's story. i cant believe how cruel some of you are. i despise humanity -- i always did. i cant believe the harm that's being done to those people, to everyone. most of us have been bullied, degraded, manipulated, some even sa'd. why do we have to be so cruel? why? i dont understand.



02.04.2026, ---



for those who never got to recover, im sorry. i cant help everyone. i actually cant help myself either, but its okay. ill be fine -- eventually.



02.04.2026, 9pm



i dont feel so well, really. it'll pass but my heart is aching like it did before i started trying to recover. does this always come back or will it disappear over time? im so stressed. please just leave.



02.04.2026, 8 pm



i just remembered when i made plans with my friends and they excused themselves last second so i was waiting there like an idiot.. for almost an hour! ૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა i dont vent much but this was very upsetting!! i dont like them as much as i used to now..



also i've been more stressed than usual today! im so worried about this one thing i can't exactly talk about.. if it actually happens i think i might actually go insane. its the only thing that gives me an active role in someone's life right now!! agh i need to sleep soon.. my head hurts from everything and i still need to clean..



02.04.2026, 9 am



so i forgot to fill that out in the end... but oh well. i really love the new layout of this, its so cool aghhhh...



01.04.2026, 8am



filling this out more in a bit i just wanted to say im on my way to school ♡̩͙ i dressed a bit warmer cause its very cold!!



01.04.2026, 6am



LAST DAY OF SCHOOL !!  i have just one more test today, and im going to school at 9 am instead of 8! so i have an extra hour to sleep~ i studied hard yesterday, so hopefully this will be easy now. also i started rewatching nekopara with my gf last night and played roblox with her.. and guess what?? i had a bedtime set at 9pm but we played till 12 pm!! ugh i hate her so much..



31.03.2026, 3pm



i remember back in 2023-24 i used to write a lot of studies about psychology.. i really wonder where that passion went ( °ヮ° ) ?, either way though, i think i'll try that again, i really enjoy dojng it and its a great way to practice my focus since i've been struggling with it lately. i also figured my favorite color is pink! i actually always thought it was black or this really deep wine red, but now that i dont think about violence so much it became clear to me that i've always liked pink. i've still got to figure out my favorite animal though.. but i always thought it was a jellyfish! i love jellyfishes, i just dont feel that same kind of "spiritual connection" as i do with my other favorite things.. so i dont think its really a favorite. maybe a dove? cat? oh god.. theres too much. recently i thought that maybe its a marble fox, i just need to put a picture of one here now (≧∇≦)







so cute, no?? that one's still young so its even more adorable!! sadly its still not my favorite. i prefer meanings rather than appearance, maybe thats why. ill search up some animals today, but id appreciate suggestions! hopefully i'll find my favorite soon enough!



talking about favorites, i love shrimps and vegetables SO much. my friends never liked either of those, but i think they might just be my comfort food. i always reach out for a salad when im upset, although i do eat some unhealthy things as well.. pretty often (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝).



this might be a bit off topic, but i never really understood why people insult others for doing what they do, especially if its not harmful! personally i love hearing about other's hobbies and interests! my friends have a lot of them, i have to admit im jealous of some.. but i do wish them well! theyre just so cool and smart, i wish i was like them so bad (¬_¬") by the way, i really love all my friends, they're so supportive and sweet! especially someone i'll just name alex for privacy reasons, im currently set on helping him since he's been struggling a lot, i feel so bad!! i wish i could come and help but we're long distance ૮◞ ‸ ◟ ა, i just hope he will feel better!



31.03.2026, 2pm



just got a writing exam done, honestly so happy about how it came out ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜ i got a few compliments on my hair and overall appearance throughout the day as well, i think my insecurity is starting to really fade now. i haven't styled my hair in a bit even though i always do, but i might keep it wavy for a while!



my girlfriend's been so nice to me lately, i really dont know what i would've done without her "( – ⌓ – ), although it does still feel a bit strange having someone that loves you that way, but im starting to get used to it ! ‎♡



my mental health's also been better! i do still feel sad sometimes, but it quickly turns to happiness now, i think i found a way to control my anger as well ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )



31.03.2026, 10 am



i finally made a blog site.. ill just be making this longer and putting the newer entries to the top, atleast i think that'll work? anyways im not trying to make this long since im at school right now but i HAVE to talk about my exams so bad, they've been stressing me out horribly, oh god. i absolutely hate them, i have so many studies to finish and i dont even know where to start (╥﹏╥), i made a study plan and put it on my home screen, hopefully that'll help with motivation..